Dating can take surprising turns off the main humdrum of life’s highway. It could take you into an state that is so new you feel a sense of temporary disorientation. That’s how I felt the first time I experienced sex. The world around me shrunk to only two people; my partner and I. We were introduced briefly by the head teacher at a primary school I was working at. I was senior by five years .
There were no emotional sparks; no butterflies;no moons; no stars; only pleasant exchanges of “I’m pleased to meet you.” Time passed; perhaps a month. I had carefully planned my lesson, but everything happened differently in the class. The responses from the children were different to what I expected. I went into a rage; I left one building where I was teaching to go to the headteacher’s office to register my unhappiness and seek counsel. On my way to the headteacher’s office I passed this new teacher; I was introduced to her about a month earlier. I did not say a word to her. She expressed her disappointment by asking “How could you pass me like that without saying good morning?” I said “There was nothing good about the morning.” I did not know at that time that “Good morning” was the short form of “For you I wish that you have a good morning ” and that even if I was having a bad day or not, that I should still greet her with the wish “For you, I wish that you have a good day.” I took the opportunity to off load my stress on her; I told her all the details of what went wrong, in my class. She listened carefully.
I now know that she displayed strength to listen, and that she was displaying great leadership skills. Lunch time came and I searched for her in another building to continue taking to her. I had a habit of going home for lunch. On that particular day I spent so much time talking that I left the school yard later than usual and returned later than usual. The headteacher noticed but did not say anything at that time. The next day I talked to the new teacher for enough minutes to return back to the school late. on this particular day the headteacher approached me. Instead of shouting and threatening me, she simply suggested that I walk with my lunch the next day. I now suspect that she was a match maker and that she was trying to give her endorsement. Being the type of person I am I took her suggestion and brought my lunch the next day.
The first time I had the opportunity to to observe her fingers and thought of how they will feel on my body; I observed her skin tone and thought of how healthy her skin was; I thought of her beautiful lips and soft kisses; I observed her breast and thought of the comfort to be derived; I thought of her having my babies; I later observed her curvy hips as she walked away; I thought of finding refuge between her thighs. I think at that moment, there was still no fireworks , but a small smoke was beginning to form. I started to think that there might be a future for the two of us .It was now necessary to confront my fears; I had a fear of rejection. I now know that fear of rejection is not natural; it should be replaced with confidence in one’s ability to contribute to the value-adding process that should happen in a healthy relationship.
A month passed before I built up the courage to propose to her. I had marriage on my mind. I had to do a test to find out whether or not she loved me the way I loved her. I simply asked “Is there anyone you know that you are willing to spend the rest of your life with?” She said yes and my heart started to beat out of timing. I felt that I had waited too late to propose. Yet, I continued by asking who. She said “You.” Then my heart started to beat faster;I decided then and there, I missed too many opportunities because of my fear of rejection; I was not going to let this one pass. I proposed immediately; I asked “Will you marry me?” She did not answer me for three months. She finally said yes . When I wondered why she took so long she expressed her doubts; she was uncomfortable with the way I walked. She was concerned that I was too jealous.
I could deal with the walk, but the jealousy part, I was not sure what to do. There is a fine line between wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone and taking actions to prevent another man from taking her away. Some actions that are intended to secure one’s partner, might come across as jealousy but the question is can you defend your partner without appearing to be jealous. Then again, if someone pledges to spend the rest of her life with you, is there any need to be jealous of a stranger? To me, it should be the other way around; the stranger should be jealous, that you are in a relationship with someone who has superb qualities. The first time we kissed; the first time I felt her warm breast against my chest; the first time we took the liberty to undress each other ; the first time I parted her lips between her thighs with my manhood, I was thankful for the fist time I encountered her.